How to ✨glow up✨ in one simple step.

a short note on how to become the "after" photo.

This article is in no way about cosmetics or skincare, but if that title suckered you in regardless, I’m proud of my increasing headline writing ability and really not at all sorry.

Let’s Glow Up Anyway.

Like anyone else in 2025, I am guilty of the (not so) occasional scroll sesh, and I’ve become pretty enamored with the glow up posts.

Much is made on social media about “glow ups”, and for good reason. There are TikToks and Instagram Reels aplenty showing men and women of all ages proudly boasting their before and after photos after noticeable physical improvement.

Some look downright unrecognizable.

Others follow a predictable and noble path: weight loss journeys, a newfound appreciation for personal style, a change of cities or enrollment at an SEC school.

There’s also the modern methods of cosmetic surgery and GLP-1’s.

However, the glow-ups I’ve found most fascinating are not the ones borne out of obsessive gua sha usage, elective surgery, or skincare hyperconsumption, but rather the ones that focus on a person’s change in aura, appearance, and vibe after getting out of a situation that no longer suits them.

The most common of these would be men and women posting themselves before and after a relationship that was likely toxic or didn’t meet their needs.

There’s an ocean of cortisol-laden and acne-pocked faces that turn into bastions of squint-inducing glow in a mere couple of swipes.

These fascinate me because while there were definitely implied lifestyle changes in the mix, it’s the look in the eyes and the overall radiant health of the person in question that is so captivating.

It’s not the latest Korean skincare product or a visit to Dr. Trending doing the heavy lifting, rather it’s a reclamation of self and sovereignty that seeps out through personal appearance.

From the Outside Looking In: Why I Wrote This

A text was sent to me this week from a friend and TikTok Live viewer that hit me right in the chest, as well as inspired this write up.

Obviously, these are very kind words- but they’re also from someone who is quite tough (in a good way) and a real go-getter, so I knew it wasn’t fluff.

Sure, this was welcome news, especially after the trials and tribulations that had come with moving states, leaving everything you know and love behind and expanding a business all in one fell swoop.

I wanted to look beyond the recognition and discover the eminence so that I could share it.

As you might guess, right on cue…it ties into our last chat about Locking In.

Lock in….glow up?

The Training Camp arc we discussed last time out was supposed to be intentionally boring.

It’s a period of hyper-regimented focus, on intense output, on the Spaghetti Method ( an overly cute term for throwing everything at the wall and seeing what sticks).

Social life? Backburner.

“Extracurriculars” Major backburner.

Mindless yapping and interactions without intention? Also supposed to be forgotten.

I had figured this spell was going to age me a bit, give me the “man in the trenches” type look you would expect a certain lifestyle to inflict you with.

Those sacrifices were ones I was ready to accept.

What has happened so far has been to the contrary.

Heavy Incline Pressing and Beaded Curtains

The results of the “Great Lock In” are defying what was expected to be seen from the self-appointed control group.

It’s as if the universe is extracting me out to do certain things, all the while my intention was to stay inside, mind mine and produce.

Just this past week I found myself holding court at a country club, a cigar lounge, and sipping a Tito’s and soda nestled into cabaret seating behind a beaded curtain at a random lounge that until that moment, I’d never heard of.

Each time I’d ask myself, “How tf did I get here?”

It’s not like I’m on the prowl for a good time at this stage.

The same is happening in the iron jungle.

Weights I’d have been bragging about flat pressing in 2023 when I was 20 lbs heavier are now floating off of my chest…but this time, on the incline.

If the random jaunts and side-quests defy common logic, the weight room voodoo downright flies in the face of science.

I got out of the shower the other day and had to run down to my PC and pull up an anatomy chart on Google to identify a new muscle on my back I couldn’t even name.

Naturally, this all felt good…but I had to get to the bottom of it.

I didn’t “look like shit” previously, but we were inadvertently reaching new heights, and the writer in me had to know why.

Living in Alignment

(If you just clicked this to rush down and find out the singular “glow-up tip” in this article, then congrats- you’ve found it. Please give this a heart before you head out the door, it helps out)

So, how did a guy who expected a period of self-internment to turn him into Wayne Rooney from that old World Cup commercial end up to the contrary?

It’s actually quite simple: the answer is in the alignment.

I’ve been doing what I want to do.

Expanding into Florida real estate.

Writing.

TikTok Live-ing (well, I’m on a week’s ban right now, but that’s another story..)

Creating actual TikToks.

Building a network across social media of other like-minded men and women across various industries who are on the same wave (btw you guys are awesome).

Lifting, staying in touch with my day ones.

If it isn’t regarding the mission or mission-adjacent, I’m out.

You would think this would be incredibly off-putting…turns out it’s actually magnetic.

Gone are the meetings I don’t want to be a part of, the forced “teamwork” Zoom’s, the social obligations, the Groundhog’s Day of hometown social hangouts, the errands and favors done out of good heartedness.

(Sometimes a good heart will weigh you down as much as a bad spine- I’ve got both, so I would know)

There’s a purity and underlying aura you acquire when you zone in on what you actually want and cut out the BS.

It’s not tied to money (my misery was peaked in 2023 when ironically enough, business was too), or dedication. I’ve had far more “locked in” fitness runs, but the body’s rejection of my lifestyle at the time and the accompanying cortisol infusion always held me back from that *true* peak I was chasing.

Sometimes we have to zoom all the way out instead of dissecting what’s working through a microscope.

It’s the same reason we see overweight men online find their jawlines after dropping the nagging girlfriend, or women light up the screen like an actress in a leading role after breaking away from a controlling boyfriend.

Everyone has an internal compass that guides them towards what they really want.

The mind, body, and overall “vibe” we give off gives us direct feedback on how well we listen to it.

Face blowing up, eyes dulled, body achy and stubborn?

That’s the spiritual version of the cloud guy from Mario Kart when you get turned around.

Conversely, if you start to radiate light?

If everyone starts to want you in rooms you haven’t been in before?

The proverbial doors start to open?

Those are green flags, my friend.

It’ll happen, no doubt.

It’ll happen when you do it for you, and not them.

Closing Notes and Locked-In Friends

The last essay might’ve been the most impactful one since the pen was picked back up.

Got a couple inspiring texts I’ll attach below, which leads me to this: if a few more of us want to lock in until the end of the year, perhaps I’ll throw together a Discord server or something of the sort as an accountability chat meets motivation source meets digital locker room type deal.

As always, it’s nothing but love.

<3

-John Abbate

23.8.2025